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How many of you would/have applied for this?

PARENT - Job Description POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Public Comments

  1. yeah most ppl give in the end - funny !
  2. I would!!! lol bless us!
  3. I'm in!
  4. wouldn't have applied for it out fo choice but sometimes you have no choice!!!!!! that's life!!!!!!!
  5. not me
  6. I would so want this job. I love kids! I hope I have at least ten or twenty, no joke!
  7. that is my job...general dogs body for my family....but the hugs are nice....
  8. sounds great!! I have two teenagers and im sure you must have missed some point off your list.. my life is one long exhaustive roller coaster ride!
  9. i didn't apply, but got the job anyway
  10. benifits not much
  11. Can't say it's my dream.
  12. only an idiot would have kids. i stand by that statement. too bad hormones lie.
  13. I did. I applied and was hired without any references.
  14. Well, when you put it like that... I think I'll wait a good few years until I let myself in for all that.
  15. I would have loved to, unfortunatley I have no children.
  16. yep that would be me.... any more questions?
  17. So true-i got the job!!xx
  18. Thank GOD for those jobs! I love mine.
  19. hhmmm....i dont know, if i didnt get holiday pay, considering i had to go through all of that!
  20. Thats the funniest thing I've ever read...haven't applied yet, but you make it sound so much fun!!
  21. I hear ya! I applied for it and got it! It's the most demanding, hardest, heartbreaking, rewarding job in the world. How ironic, huh?
  22. Well if you don't get independence day off, count me OUT.
  23. Loving Johnny Trash's answer
  24. Good one! If more people knew all of this, they would use more protection! lol Have a great day!!
  25. Yes i applied for this position, but gotta say it aint as bad as ur making out, so far anyway, hes only 2 so i have a long way to go. But what i will say is, i will never ever apply again, not even if i was guaranteed a million bucks & a nanny into the bargain lol.
  26. I did so willingly. Now add a paragraph to describe what being a single parent is like.
  27. i didn't apply for the job but got it anyway, pays crap, hours are long
  28. are you a proffesional writer?
  29. heh heh, it's not a job I want to apply for and I'm happy with my choice, but it's very amusing. enjoy the job!
  30. Shri Ravindranath Tagore, a Noble laureate,said that marriage is like one such house ,where people who are inside want to come out and those standing outside the house want to enter it.
  31. And do you know something?.....we'd do the whole lot again to enjoy the times we've had with our Sprog! She's been an absolute gem for the past 17 years and each day brings another funny moment or tears to wipe away only to find half an hour later that the boyfriend isn't the scumbag she at first thought and that in fact he's wonderful and she's going to marry him and have his babies! We're supposed to be the ones who teach her the ways of the world, and we are, but the lessons she's taught us about all manner of things are inumerable! She's had some difficult times to deal with throughout school eg being bullied but at no time has she ever wished to exact revenge on the bully, she's had problems with self-harm but saw her own personal experiences as a route to helping others troubled in a similar way. We are immensely proud of her and tell her so, we love her with all our heart always and have taken great pleasure in watching our painfully shy little girl grow and develop into a beautiful, popular, generous, loving and kind young woman. She is and always will be the reason we get up out of bed every morning and are dreading the day she spreads her wings to build her own nest. But this is the natural progression and she will continue to receive our, unconditional love and support. xx
  32. i must have applied for it twice. lol
  33. Lol I have 4 and even though timed get rough with there teens years, I would do it all again, if only I didn't have all the disabilities , I would do it again. still young enough at 35 to have more but it would be hard on my body. My boys are 17, 15, 14 and 19 and again all boys. They give me no help around the house so that's all on me. My 10 year old tries when he can to help. but tats it. In remission cancer that could come back at any time. Now I have a spinal cord stimulator ! So no babies or more kids in my future
  34. Hehehe not me
  35. LMAO! First got the job 8yrs ago and have since been lucky enough to add two additional responsibilities into the mix! Hard work it's true, but there's absolutely nothing like that first smile in the morning, the hug that starts at the other side of the room and is at full tilt when it hits you, or the sound of your 2yr old saying 'wuv you mummy'. Also teaches you to appreciate quiet, lol!
  36. not me don't like this job, I've just ripped up the application form.
  37. I've just been made redundant from that job....kids have flown the nest and I miss them soooooooooo much, so enjoy yours while they're at home.
  38. hahaha you make it sound so hard its not
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